I dreamt of her.

First of all, fortunately, it wasn't a wet dream. It was just a dream, which made me feel pleasant for a while.

She was an adult in that dream. Still short, she was clad in a black top tank, which made her look sexy. I had no sexual appeal on her at all, though. The fact is that she invited me to her house, which was surprising. It seemed like she has transformed and finally became matured. Her house was white and clean, but some parts were a little messy. I don't remember the details of the items at her house. I sat with her in the dining room, at morning, when nothing but whiteness was the clear hint. Throughout this whole dream, she was smiling, and I felt that she was more matured than me. She cooked for me some breakfast and put it on the transparent glass table, and she looked at me while I was eating in a hectic manner. She was pretty. I wanted to hug her.

It's not because I still like her or whatever, but I do feel that whenever I spot her on other people's Instagram photographs, I feel that it's such a waste. She's really quite pretty, in my opinion. Somehow, her personality says the otherwise and I feel that that's not very good of her.

I daydream of the day when she suddenly approaches me and implores for my apology, or seeing each other at overseas alone, without any acquaintance. With joy, I think I'll talk to her and link coincidence to having a meal together. I've always wanted to reconcile with her, but situations didn't allow me to do so. Probably, when we become older and more matured, I hope this happens and I wish I can still remember you. I wish fervently for her to do so, too.

I don't want her to be my girlfriend, however. I guess she will feel the same too. Unless she has proven to me that her personalities have changed and stop influencing me to her Christianity, I won't ever start liking her.

The moments that I hate nowadays are when I can relate to love songs closely.

It was a dream. It was a pleasant dream.

By sight, not by faith.

The title should be the opposite, but this represents how I have been feeling about you. To me, you are still pretty (looks only), but why do I constantly think nowadays, that I should not feel this way? I want to know a specific reason, so I need to ask you. I don't love you anymore, but I have to ask you.

Why did you do that?

This question has always been recurring in my mind. It was very unreasonable for you to do that, do you realise? I always feel that you were wrong at that moment. You've done something very wrong, which always pricks me a sense of guilt, even when I have not done anything wrong against you. Why the hell did you even say that, and reacted that way? Were you too young? Probably. You were way too younger than me. However, at the same time, I was young, too. Hence, that does not give you a luxury to reason why you made such bad remarks of me. It was not fair.

You've always reminded me of impartiality - a fairness, an equilibrium in this unfair society, where having this will be a utopia. Something that never exists, but what I wish to, is what you always reminded me. You humiliated me and gave me a sense of reality, after making that statement that was out of a logical sense. I talked about Miranda Warning last time in the Auburn Society to denote what you have done wrong, and what others around you have done wrong as well. This is a problem in our society, but at the Auburn Society, this is completely disallowed.

One thing to claim is that, you seem happy - very jubilant, indeed. You can't imagine how you hurt other people by coming up with your illogical, childish and ill-minded nonsense. When people trust you, you use it maliciously to hurt them, by not only backstabbing, but also by making others, who will go against people like me, to trust you temporarily. I am not saying that I am innocent. However, if badness has a weight, yours is much heavier than mine. I hope someday karma avenges you. Believing in Jesus Christ is the best humour I have heard from you, because you are not a true believer. Right after I witnessed your stupidity over your religion view, there was no reason for me to love you anymore.

Stay hungry. Stay foolish, such that Job's real meaning befalls on you wrongly, as you take it in a literal sense. Realise your callousness and stupidity as you grow older, and let me see if you can keep up with any word that you had said against me. Trust me for once - you will neither have matured thoughts in future, nor will you beg for apology from me, or others who mistrusted you. You are that kind of person. People don't change until they discover their flaws, and you will never succeed in doing so. I know your bad habits more than yourself.

Your sarcastic motto - by faith, not by sight - exactly represents how fake you are. Can you even answer that italicised question above?